Umbrella's Idea of Torture
by NightShade727
Summary: Wesker and Birkin are forced to take philosophy as part of their Umbrella Training. Wesker in particular gets really bored in class...drabble


**This all belongs to Capcom, I don't own any of it. I know the characters' personalities aren't perfect but its just supposed to be for fun. Hope you enjoy it!**

Umbrella's Philosophy

Albert Wesker stared blankly at the man Doctor Marcus had assigned to teach the two prodigies philosophy. Professor Todd had been talking for some time now but most of what he said went in one of Wesker's ears and out the other. At first he had at least attempted to appear interested but had since given up on the pretense. Under the protection of his dark sunglasses, he cast a sideways glance toward the clock. He suppressed a groan; only about forty-five more minutes of this until he could be back in the lab.

About a month ago, Dr. Marcus had announced that his two protégées needed to become more "well rounded members of society", as he put it. At first Wesker and his partner and friend William Birkin had thought it was a joke since they were so busy with work on both the T-Virus and Marcus's leeches. Then last week the two were given the list of courses to help them become "rounded".

The classes in general weren't terrible. Wesker supposed there was some benefit in learning history. After all, wasn't the saying that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it? He could also see usefulness in Composition and even the Art class they were assigned to. But philosophy?

When are we ever going to use philosophy? Wesker had asked Marcus when he received the assignment sheet. They were here to build bio-weapons after all. They were going to use their skills to create a virus designed to kill quickly, not philosophize their victims to death. Although, after two weeks of this class, Wesker was wondering if even philosophy had potential to be lethal. After one particularly agonizingly slow lecture, Wesker had semi-considered slitting his wrists with the scalpel he kept in his lab coat pocket in order to escape this torture. Also as of late, he had been increasingly coming up with more and more elaborate ways to get rid of Professor Todd. Tossing him in a cage with a hungry Hunter would be acceptable.

_Yes, that was it_, Wesker thought to himself. _Philosophize to people long enough and they will set out on a mad rampage. These lectures alone are enough to make anyone snap. Actually, I am quite surprised William hasn't completely lost it yet._

Wesker turned to look at William. The younger scientist was rapidly scribbling notes onto a note pad. He already had two other pages full of notes spread out on the desk in front of him. The older blonde returned his gaze to his own note pad. The only marking on the paper was "Albert Wesk" scrawled across the top. He hadn't even finished writing his name!

Wesker checked the clock one more time. The hands had not moved even a millimeter since he last checked it. It had to be broken. Wesker decided that he must explain, complain really, about how grievous of a problem this was to Marcus. What if Professor Todd went over the allotted amount of time due to a broken clock? William and himself could not afford to miss anymore of their research time. They were close to making a breakthrough on the T-Virus, sort of. After that, he figured he would demand to know where the idea of putting them through school came to him.

This was probably suggested by Alexander Ashford, Wesker contemplated. Perhaps that failure of an Ashford was hoping to stall Birkin and himself as much as possible until his own brats, Alexia and Alfred, were old enough to make something of themselves. He would have to just make sure that he and William work harder to show up that weasel.

Wesker snapped out of his thoughts but a sharp poke. It startled him and he jumped slightly in his seat. His head turned to face William.

"He's giving us a five minute break," William did not look up from his notes. The older boy frowned. William now had four complete sheets of notes in front of him now.

"I will never understand how you can take so many notes," Wesker stated, lazily leaning back into his chair. He let his head roll back and relax against the headrest. His blue eyes darted to the ceiling. "Are you writing everything verbatim?"

"It would serve you well if you paid more attention and possibly took notes," William said, patronizingly but ignoring his question. "After all, I can't have you waisting my time copying my notes later when I require your assistance later on in the lab."

Wesker hated it when William asserted his superiority but he always let it slide because it was deep down, Wesker knew that William was correct. William was exceptionally more intelligent then himself, but Wesker preferred to believe that he didn't care because they were friends. However, had anyone other than William Birkin said something like that, Wesker would have made sure they ended up on the wrong side of all of his research on a gurney.

"Also, we do not want failure in this class to jeopardize your job," William said matter-of-factly. Wesker glared at William from behind his sunglasses. "Do not glare at me like that."

Wesker rolled his eyes. He never quite figured out how William always knew the expression behind his sunglasses. He supposed it was an after effect of spending hours upon hours of time down in the lab with the younger blonde. "I still do not see how this is relevance to our research," Wesker went back to staring at the ceiling.

"Perhaps you can philosophize some theories about all the research I have been doing," William said, finally looking up from the notepad. He smiled at his partner. "Come up with some useful explanation for all the advancements in the leeches, for example."

"Yes, as soon as you actually make an advancement that hasn't already been outlined for you, I'll consider it," Wesker snapped. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw William flush. Satisfied that he had put the fifteen year old back in his place, Wesker sighed loudly. He dropped the malice from his voice, "I wouldn't mind getting back to the leeches."

William laughed out loud at that. "You must really hate this class if you're willing to go back to that dull work."

Wesker smirked. "Better than this stuff any day."

Right then the sliding doors of the classroom opened and Professor Todd walked back in the room. The man was holding a large coffee cup which he quickly finished. He looked curiously at Wesker, not used to seeing the seventeen year old in anything but a near comatose condition. Both youths quieted down when he stepped behind the podium. William sat up straighter while Wesker remained in his semi-horizontal position.

"Now to continue on Socrates' ideas of the 'forms'," the professor rustled his papers. He began outlining the argument on the chalk board.

Wesker sat up in his chair and focused his eyes on him. He could concentrate, he told himself. He could do it. He managed to remain interested in all of Marcus's and Spencer's lousy lectures, he could manage a few lectures by this meaningless professor.

"Now according to Socrates, the only time something exists is in its form. That is what Socrates would consider to be the real world, or real. Now the form is not the actual object itself, it is merely the thought or the 'ness' of it..."

"Professor," William drawled, raising his hand. He gave the professor a lopsided grin. "So that means anything that I can conceive in my mind can exist?"

"That is correct, Dr. Birkin."

William and Wesker exchanged glances, the grin on William's face growing exponentially. "Even people and places, like say, Socrates and Hell?"

Professor Todd began to feel a little more concerned at the smile that spread across William's face. On any other fifteen year old, the smile would have looked natural, even child-like. But on William, it was just creepy. It looked maniacal, as if he would start laughing crazily, like he did when he and Wesker talked about the experiments they did on their helpless human test subjects. "Correct again, Dr. Birkin."

Wesker thought about this. So as long as he could think of an idea of something, it would exist. A small smirk played across his face. He knew Hell did not exist. It was unscientific to believe in some fantasy place where "bad" people go once they died, and yet...he slowly began to warm up to the idea. Perhaps if he believed in this "Hellness" for a couple of moments, and the "ness" of both Socrates and Plato, he could place the two philosophers there.

He concentrated on a special Hell where Socrates, Plato, and Todd were forced to reason with the most completely illogical people who could never be reasoned with for all of eternity. All while running away from a pack of wild Hunters and "her". Wesker full on smiled. Maybe this class wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
